Promos
These are all the shorts animations of Dick Figures ''promoting other Mondo media shows, such as '''Gundarr '''or '''Pilots, like Deep Space 69. These promos were all made during the making of Dick Figures: The Movie. Dick Figures - Gundarr! Red and Blue argue over Gundarr. They both come to the same conclusion! 'Transcript ' (Red is watching the screen of a laptop computer, smiling, as the voice of Gundarr can be heard. Blue comes in) Blue: What are you doing? Red: Watchin' porn! Blue: That's not porn! It's Gundarr. Blonde girl in the video: Somebody please, help my pussy! Red: Pfff... (Raise hand) ''Nah! It's totally porn! '''Gundarr in the video': (Showing only the nipple of Gundarr in the screen) ''Gundarr on that weird part of Youtube again. '''Blue': I think that's Gundarr's pecs. Red: Dude, porn. Blue: (Showing breasts on the screen) ''It says "Gundarr", right there! '''Woman on the video': We're gonna crotch wrestle! Gundarr: Get ready for Gundarr's foot-long... (Lowering his arm) ''frankfurter... '''Blue': There's not even any boobs in this show! Other woman on the video: And as soon as we finish... (Blue starts looking at the screen) ''we can have... (Blue blinks with eyebrows high)'' "dessert". Red: (Red holds his laptop) I think I'm gonna need some alone time! (Runs into his room and closes the door.) Gundarr:'' (Faintly) Wait, dessert means "sex" right? '''Blue': (Stands still) ''Yeah.... '''Woman on the video': (Faintly) ''Yeah. '''Blue': ...Me too. (Walks off-screen) 'Trivia' *This teasers is promoting another mondo media show called Gundarr, another popular show of the company. *This is the first time it shows Red having a laptop computer (excluding Modern Flame War 3, since it's a normal computer, not a portable one). 'Video' Dick Figures Promo for Deep Space 69! (The animation start with a text saying: "Somewhere out in space, monday." with space as the background. A voice of a man is then heard.) Man: Ugh, this meat popsicle smells like wookie snatch, smells like-- (The screen now shows, in outer space, a penis-shaped spaceship in front of a meat popsicle store. A voice of another man is now heard.) Other man: Dude, no. (Inside the ship, it shows the first man handing over a meat popsicle to the "other man", who is actually a koala. The screen now switches to Blue, sitting on the couch, who was actually watching the animation in a laptop computer.) Blue: (smiling) ''Oh man, I'd watch anything about outer space! ''(The screen returns to the video, the spaceship now goes upward the store and flies away. It then skips where the man is now fighting a blue alien in a sword fight. The man has a very small sword, while the alien got a realy big one, but the man manages to block his attacks. It then skips where guards with laserguns are now shooting the protagonists, while they are running away.) Man: Go, gogogogogo!! (The man and the koala enters their ship.) Blue: Oh man, this is pretty sweet! (Returns to the video.) Man: I think I can take this guy, looks kinda fat... (The alien takes his vest out.) Man: ... and has a beautiful set of man boobs. Blue: (getting excited) ''Oh maaan!! ''(Blue keeps watching the video, a scream is heard from the alien.) Man: Oh come on! This sword is like a baby penis! (Blue then lifts up his head and hears Red singing the Star Wars theme. Red then enters the room, floating, from right to left and above Blue.) Red: Staaar Wars! Singin' about Staaaar Wars!! (Blue grumbles, angry.) ''Maybe some Staaaaar Trek!! Jabba the huuuuuutt! ''(He stops and stands in the left, still floating. Noises of the video can be heard.) Blue: Dude, I'm trying to watch thi-- Red: STAAAAR WARS!! Singing 'bout space stuff! Fucking Buck Roooogers! Screw Prometheuuus, it sucked! Blue: OH MY GOD, SHUT UP!!! ''(It then shows the logo of the show '''Deep Space 69, ''with the man harmed with a spacegun and the koala on it. The screen then turns black.) Red: (Off-screen) ''I'm your faaaather, cut off your hand! 'Trivia' *This was a promo of a pilot, a new series in Mondo Media and this promo was made before the second episode of Deep Space 69 came out. *The man's name is "Jay" and the Koala's name is "Hamilton". These are both the protagonists of the show. 'Video' Dick Figures: Promo for Game Program Attack! ''(The animation starts on a television screen, a race game can be seen, wit h 3 cars on the starting line and the 3 players, in 8-bit, on every corner, except the bottom-right one. The first is called "Ace", the second "Chang" and the third "Jacques", there is also a referee on the top middle of the screen. The race starts.) (The screen switches to Red and Blue, who were sitting on the couch. Red was holding a game controller while Blue was holding a cup of tea, with a bored tone on his face while Red seems concentrated.) Red: I think this game's broken! This controller doesn't work at ALL! Blue: It's not a game idiot! It's a show. (The screen switches back to the TV screen.) Ace: I don't need the nitrous chief. I can beat him fair and square! Referee: 'Now isn't the time for foolish pride! There's too much at stake. ''(The screen switches back to Red and Blue.) '''Red: I know, but it was working yesterday. Blue: No! It's an animation called "Game Program Attack!" (The screen switches back to the TV screen.) Ace: '''Alright let's do this! But I'm gonna need some help. '''Jacques: I'll help ya buddy! (The screen switches back to Red and Blue.) Red: I KNOW! But I can't turn at all! (Blue sips his coffee) Look that one just died! (The screen switches back to the TV Screen. Jacques crashes his car and burns.) Jacques: 'Oh Jesus shit! I'm burning alive! ''(camera zooms in on Jacques.) ''This is my nightmare! ''(Zooms back out to race where new racer "Lance" is seen.) ''This is the only way I didn't wanna die! ''(The screen switches back to Red and Blue. Red bangs his head on his controller.) 'Blue: '''Dude! The console's not even plugged in. '''Red: '''WELL WHY ISN'T IT WORKING!!? ''(Grumbles angrily.) 'Blue: '''You're watching YOUTUBE! ''(The screen switches back to the TV Screen.) 'Lance: '''Speakin' of food, let's take him out like some cheap Chinese. Takeout. ''(The screen switches back to Red and Blue.) 'Red: '''Oh! OH NO! I'M LOSING! FUCK THIS GAME!!! ''(Gets off the couch.) ''FUCK IT SO HARD!!! ''(Grabs the Xcube5000 and smashes the TV with it.) '''Blue: No! What are you doing!? NOT MY XBOX! NO!!! (It then shows the logo of the show '''Game Program Attack, also displaying the episode title '''Race Wars. 'Trivia' *The console Red & Blue own was an Xcube5000 but for some strange reason, Blue called it an Xbox, which is the console made by Microsoft *The Episode of Game Program Attack Red & Blue were watching was Episode 5: Race Wars 'Video' ' ' Dick Figures: Promo for Post Nuclear Family (Red is sitting on his couch, looking at the laptop computer, with a scared look on his face. Blue appears from the right, looking tired.) Blue: ''(tired) Oh man, I gotta go get some food or something. '''Red: '(stops Blue) Dude stop! Don't go out there! Didn't you hear the news!? (The scene cuts to a dead land on the laptop, a guy in fire runs across the screen) Fire guy: 'AAAAHHHH!!!! ''(The scene cuts to Red & Blue) '''Blue: ''(sits down on couch) What are you talking about? ''(he becomes shocked when dramatic music plays) ''Oh my god! What's going on? '''Red: '''It's the end of the world! ''(Scene cuts to the video and shows many dead people with one chewing the gore from another guy's butt) Guy: 'Oh my god! ''(Scene cuts to Red & Blue) 'Blue: '''Holy shit! How long was I asleep for!? '''Red: '''It doesn't matter cuz we're all gonna be DEAD! ''(cries) Especially me! (cries more) 'Blue: '''Holy crap, holy crap, holy crap! What are we gonna do? ''(scene cuts to the video on the laptop, an explosion is seen and Red & Blue scream in fear) '''Red: '''This is it! THIS IS IT! '''Blue: ''(hugs Red in fear)'' I love you man! Red: ''(hugs Blue in fear) I love you too buddy! ''(relieved) Aah, I'm just kidding It's just a new show on Mondo! (smiles) (Blue becomes angry at Red when suddenly an explosion occurs destroying everything including Red & Blue's apartment, it then shows the title of the show called 'Post Nuclear Family) 'Trivia' *This is a promo for Post Nuclear Family, a show on Mondo Media's channel. 'Video' ' ' Dick Figures: Promo for Baman Piderman (The animation starts on the TV screen, with Baman.) Baman: I'm Baman! (Batman, or Red, appears in front of the TV.) Batman: What? (cuts back to TV screen, Baman is on his telephone) Baman: 'This is Baman. ''(cuts back to Batman) 'Batman: '''Uh, I'm Batman! ''(cuts back to TV screen, Piderman now appears) 'Piderman: '''Baman, Baman, Baman! '''Batman: '''No, I'M Batman! '''Piderman: '''Baman! '''Batman: '''I'm- I'm Batman! ''(cuts back to TV screen, Piderman is lying on the floor) 'Piderman: '''Baman? Baman. ''(cuts back to Batman) 'Batman: '''I'M Batman! ''(cuts back to TV screen) 'Piderman: '''Bamaaan. ''(cuts back to Batman) 'Batman: '''I'm Batman! GOD DAMN IT! ''(face palms and shakes TV) I'M BATMAN!! (cuts back to TV Screen) 'Piderman: '''Baman! ''(cuts back to Batman) '''Batman: ''(points) Don't make me get my Bat-Bat! ''(runs off-screen and comes back smashing the television with a baseball bat) ''I'm BATMAN! I'm BATMAN! I'm BATMAN!!! ''(falls to the ground) (The scene now cuts to Blue drinking coffee with Pumkin, a character from Baman Piderman) Blue: 'Does that make me Piderman? ''(Pumkin shrugs and Hi-Fives Blue, cuts to the title of the show Baman Piderman with Baman & Piderman singing their theme song) '''Trivia *Pumkin from Baman Piderman made a cameo in this short drinking coffee with Blue 'Video' ' ' Category:episodes where red floats the whole time Category:Short episodes